Lover's eyes
by Anotherhumanbeing
Summary: There is a tightening in her chest, a pair of burning lungs that choke on the air they can't breathe. Post-ep 6x17.


**If there is no Talia in the new Batman Arkham game I will cry.**

* * *

_''But oh my heart, was flawed_

_I knew my weakness_

_So hold my hand,_

_consign me not to darkness'' _

There is a tightening in her chest, a pair of burning lungs that choke on the air they can't breathe. And she gasps, a violent cough making its way up her dry throat as her fingers claw in the sheets of their bed. Behind her closed eyelids the memories of icy, cold water licking her face float around and her body jerks, awakes drenched in cold sweat. The covers draped over her do nothing to prevent the shiver that spreads across her spine, reaching the end of her toes as they curl.

_You feel the panic in your soul. _

''Kate?'' Castle's arm is anything but comforting as it rests across her abdomen and she sets it aside, swings her bare legs at the side of her bed and stands up. The moonlight filtering through the open windows in his office dances across her skin, reveals the cuts and purple bruises marking her flesh. And his anger flares inside him, makes his jaw clench and his nails dig into his palms.

''I'm okay'' she says, her fingers touching the back of her neck expecting to find a hand gripping her nape harshly. There is none and yet she can feel it, its nails digging into her skin, shoving her head into a bucket of water that doesn't exist.

Suddenly, Castle towers behind her. His body strong and solid and the anchor her mind needs to stay here, and not drift away again.

''What did they do to you, Kate?'' he asks, his voice a soft whisper in the shell of her ear.

Kate turns to face him, her eyes staring at _nothing _over his shoulder before they move upwards.

''Nothing'' she blinks at him for a moment and then shakes her head, bites down on her bottom lip ''They did nothing''

Gently, he traces the outline of the wound on her forehead with his thumb ''It's not nothing'' he states, presses her on because she _needs _someone to push her and bring her back on her feet. But the memories are too vivid in her head, too _fresh _ and painful and she closes her eyes at them. Hoping that they will go away, yet, they don't.

''Tomorrow'' she promises him, covers his hand with her own as it settles on her cheek.

He nods, ''Okay'' he lays a kiss on her temple, lips lingering over the cut above her brow ''Come back to bed''

_Find a patch of dirt to put her in, somewhere that she won't be found. _

''Castle-'' she chokes on his name, unshed tears shimmering in her eyes as she looks up at him. She tries to hold herself together, and she fails, crumbling piece by piece and he's there to catch her. Snakes his arms around her middle, careful enough not to hurt her furthermore.

''I need you'' to replace those images in her head, to make her forget those god damn memories even for a night.

His eyes avert from one injury to the other, ''I don't want to hurt you'' he says.

''Please'' her lips are parched and pleading on the crook of his neck.

And so he does what he's asked, the mattress dipping under the weight of their tangled bodies.

''Castle'' his name is a chant and a prayer on the edge of her tongue, a breathed moan escaping from her throat.

Fuck.

A beaming grin breaks across his face when he feels her hand threading through his hair and nails raking his scalp as he explores her body all over again. Caressing every cut and bruise he finds along the way, across her ribs, her calves, her thighs. He uses his tongue and lips and fingers and he makes her forget.

Loosens the tightening in her chest.

And as her eyes close for the second time she doesn't dream of fingers yanking her head back and forth into cold water, of nails digging into her flesh. But of a lover's grip, Castle's gentle fingers clawing at the edge of her neck. Tilting her head to the side to taste its column with his mouth, graze it softly with his teeth.

* * *

It's around four when he wakes up, finds his partner snuggling against him with an arm firmly placed around his chest and her head resting on his shoulder. Her breathing tickling his ear. He smiles at the sight of her and shudders at the realization of how close he came to losing her today. Damn, he should have gone with her, ignore her protests of_ Gates said no. _

Maybe, this wouldn't have happened.

He rises higher on the bed, rests his back against the headboard and chuckles when he sees her following his movement. Drawn by the lure of his warmth she squats closer to his body, still asleep, mumbling words he doesn't quiet understand.

His hand fishes something in the pile of clothes they dumped at the floor earlier, his fingers curl around a small plastic bag and pull it out. Esposito had given it to him at the precinct before they left. Telling him it was found at the place where Beckett was held, a letter addressed only to him. Nobody had read it, he had promised.

His eyes dance over the words.

_Dear Rick, _

_I don't know how much time I have even to write this letter. What I do know now is that I'm in this and the only way I'm gonna make it out alive is to see this through. I'm sure everyone is looking for me and if they figure out I was here, CSU's gonna search this house. They're gonna look for blood and they will find it, which will lead them to this letter_-

''They found it'' he startles at her voice.

''Esposito gave it to me before we left'' he explains ''It's okay to read it?'' he asks, unsure.

She nods at him, ''It's for you. My vows''

_Babe, it's your letter, and I hope you never have to read this - that I can tell you all of these things in person, but if something happens and I don't make it, I need you to know that our partnership, our relationship is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. You're an amazing man, and I love you with all of my heart. _

_Always._

''And I'm supposed to top this with mine?'' he jokes lamely, stealing a sloppy kiss from her lips.

A sad smile curves her lips, ''I thought I was going to die''

''But you didn't''

She shakes her head, ''There was a moment I did. When they tortured me'' she begins ''I was on the floor gasping for air, I was choking and my lungs were burning. I wanted it so badly to end I-'' she swallows hard ''I let myself go'' she adds ''and it was selfish''

''Kate-''

''It was. But then I thought of our future and the promises we made to each other, I thought of you, Castle. And I was able to breathe again''

_''__But in this twilight, _

_our choices seal our fate__''_

**- Mumford&Sons, ''Broken Crown''**

* * *

**Thoughts?**

**And as always have a nice day. **


End file.
